Vatican Miracle Examiner 04: Firestarter

As explained in previous posts, Vatican Miracle Examiner was my first pick of the season (this is sounding like fantasy football). The premise sounded great, we had two characters working for the Vatican, and each week would be a different case. In the first episode we were introduced to this dull setting with flat characters, but there was a mission to accomplish. And by God, Roberto and Hiraga were going to accomplish it.

By the second episode I was like, “Okay, so this seems like an odd brief stumble. It feels like the rails were off the tracks for a little bit but we’re back now. Let’s see if we can solve this case.” Cue enthusiastic “yeah,” with a thumbs up.

The third episode I was like, “There’s no getting out of this. Tommy Lee Jones can’t even save this disaster. The train had derailed like 100 miles ago and it’s still going. We have hit so many trees, I feel bad for the wildlife. I think we might have killed a raccoon. Why haven’t we stopped?” Everything was a mess but I could not look away. That’s the appeal of this show. It’s a train wreck that you want to see.

Now we are on the fourth episode (the final one in this arc). The train flew off the cliff and we are rolling down the mountain, making sure to hit every rock. And it’s a tall one. I don’t know what I was expecting regarding the wrap up, but I was hoping for something offensive and sacrilegious. 

I got what I asked for. I also like how this anime constantly reminds you (at the beginning of each episode) that this is a work of fiction.

By the way, this is a work of fiction.

This episode begins right where the last one left off. The skeleton masked man was about to stab Roberto, but he gets shot in the head. We find out that it’s none other than James Chester (poor guy).

Hiraga and Roberto find out what the cross rune meant.

  • Vertical: The Ubermensch already exists with us.
  • Horizontal: He is brave and cruel.

Hiraga instantly recognizes the phrase, which was taken from Hitler’s “Mein Kampf” We learn about Heinrich Muller, who was part of the Gestapo / the Nazi Secret State Police. Oh, and his alias was Mikhail Brown (Michael Brown). Because of his involvement, the Vatican was backing the escape of Nazi war criminals.

It doesn’t end there though folks. The academy was founded and funded to educate the youth and revive the Nazi party.

Mary’s story gets fleshed out some more. She got adopted by Heinrich at the age of 8. When she got older, they decided to hold a ceremony where Mary was inseminated (right after placing her on an upside down pentagram).

Mary had three kids. Two were conjoined and died shortly after birth, and the other son happens to be Father Thomas.

Roberto and Hiraga sneak off to end this nonsense. Oh, and somehow the water was drugged and they just happened to take an antidote because they knew (?).

They reach the cathedral and find some stairs that lead to the aqueducts. Father Thomas, possessed by Lord Janus, makes his presence known. He sacrifices one of the members of the congregation because they got tired of waiting for Father Thomas’ awakening and decided the inseminate Mary with the sperm of a cryogenically frozen Hitler, and he’s there during the ceremony.

Father Thomas orders the congregation to kill the duo and turns on a machine that emits a high pitched frequency that turns the people into mindless murdering zombies. I’m sure dogs nearby were barking too.

We see Hiraga in action as he splashes Father Thomas with holy water (just kidding, it’s sulfuric acid). It connects and Father Thomas starts sizzling, and then (randomly) combusts into flames. Can we talk about how Hiraga looked during that dramatic pose? I thought he was going to turn into a magical school-boy. 

After that an  there’s an explosion and everyone is saved. But not before Father Thomas comes back (all crispy) and gets shot by Father McGee.

So Father McGee was not a bad guy after all, but actually worked for Zion’s Law, which was formed to eliminate the Nazi threat. Father McGee informs them that two colleagues died in the process (Sister Dorothea and Brother Francesco). I wondered what was up with that awkward dinner scene a few episodes back.

In the end, the Vatican commended the efforts of Hiraga and Roberto.

What a way to start a series. I feel like Vatican Miracle Examiner played all their cards on the table all at once. Hell, they even threw in some Uno cards, Skip Bo cards, Phase 10 cards and checkers. I’m excited for this next arc because I want to see how batshit it gets. I hope it tops the Nazi storyline and cryogenically frozen Hitler. It just has to. 

Until then, thanks for reading!

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